How to be a Newbie

It was one of those days that we sometimes have where the temperature is perfect and you are warm but sweat-free, and the breeze is blowing oxygen from the forests of the Rocky Mountains onto the plains, and the mountains look like they're only blocks away because the breeze has blown the haze away and brought with it the smell of soil and sage.

We had been inside all day, the three of us, and being indoors could no longer be tolerated. A ride had to happen. We weren't really prepared for a ride, but there are times when caution is only for throwing to the wind.

Showing up to for a ride without a pack full of supplies, tools, and inflation gizmos feels weird. Bad stuff happens to all of us on the trail, and so we carry more and more stuff to prevent those long walks back to the car, things such as spare headphones and a welding kit. Wearing denim cutoffs, a t-shirt, and (gasp!) underpants, and water-loading at the car because you don't have a bottle you can carry will make you feel like equal parts rebel and newb. This feeling will in no way be mitigated if you are joined by a real-life newb who's never put tire to trail before, let alone at dusk.

We lowered seatposts, moved some pedals around, and managed to put four bikes together that were functional but by no means "dialed." We did balance the riders/helmets equation. 

Ordinarily, I don't like comedy-of-errors stories, and as we left the trailhead I imagined that would be the only kind of story I could write about this ride. "Four Riders Marooned on Green Mountain for Three Days Finally Rescued."

Fortunately, I was wrong. The ride couldn't have been better. It felt more like an adventure than any other ride I've had in years, even when we got a little lost in the dark. We rode like kids ride after dark: aimless and full of enthusiasm. 

As it turned out, our newbie had more helpful things to say about mountain biking after one ride than the rest of us combined.

1. Equipment matters. Borrowing a bike that's unfamiliar but up-to-date is going to be far more advantageous than riding a bike that's familiar but fifteen years old. 

2. Speed helps even though it's scary. 

3. It's damn hard, but well worth it.

4. There was lots of stuff I didn't ride, but I feel like I accomplished so much!

I think I'll be leaving the welding kit at home for awhile.

The Video of the Week

The Power of Going Somewhere

by Nancy Csuti

It started for me before Amsterdam, but it was there I began to see the possibilities.

For months now I have been unsettled, knowing that changes were in my future but unsure what they might be…perhaps scared to open my eyes to them. I walk the dogs up Colorado trails grateful for the beauty that surrounds us. Yet the walks are infrequent and never, not ever, long enough. Work calls. Always work. My muscles have weakened as the years have gone by. Joints let me know they have been moving for almost six decades, never letting me forget they are there. Maybe I need a new job, I think. Maybe a new house. Maybe even a new city. My thoughts, swirling like the notes of a sweet guitar, accompany me on the plane to Amsterdam.

Jet lagged, pulling a stuffed suitcase through the streets, I search for the house. Up and down narrow streets, each canal looking alike, I go in circles. Wasn’t this the same black bike I saw 5 minutes ago? No, this is the one… I saw that black bike, I know I did.. I recognize the bent metal basket and rusty lock. But wait… I know I have not been on this street yet and somehow here is that bike. They are everywhere. Leaning on every post, on every bench, in front of every house and store and restaurant. On every corner. Waiting at every stop light, moving through every intersection. All around me are bikes. And the riders! Young and old, fat and thin, in high heels and coats and ties, jeans and scarfs, talking or texting as they ride… some with coffee cups in hand, others eating their lunch as they peddle along...some with children on the handle bars or sitting on the back fender…some peddling along, an iPad or paperback propped open on the handle bars.  Then the revelation comes to me like a flash of light – this isn’t about fitness or health, this is about going somewhere!

I return to Denver thinking only of that…they are going somewhere… as now would I. A warm Sunday afternoon and a trip across town to Yawp Cyclery and within 15 minutes I am on a bike. It has been 20 years since I peddled a bike in the USA. Can I start to do this at my age?  Then I see them in my mind…young and old, fat and thin….going somewhere… I sit straighter, look around me, and peddle away.

Every day now there is a happy hour. The hour when I am on the bike, going to the library…the store…to work. I am not in black shorts or a lycra shirt. I do not wear special shoes or fancy gloves. I do not check my pulse or count the miles. I sit up straight…stronger each and every day…I discover things I never knew existed…and always… finally, I am going somewhere.

Video of the Week

The Island of Misfit Photos

SOMETHING YOU NEVER SEE: a bike with a license plate that says "Drive."

REASON #612. Commuting by bike ain't bad.

SHRED TURN FACE.

FATTY MUD JAM.

TAKEN ON THE CLIMB AT WHITE RANCH. "From up here, those people look like ants. Ants next to enormous houses."

CONES ARE AERO. The carbon version will be out next year.

MORE CHAMOIS CREAM. 93 miles to go.

WORN OUT CLEATS WILL MAKE YOU UGLY. Replace them occasionally. Unless you enjoy picking scabs.

LIFE ISN'T PERFECT. But it's still pretty good.

Video of the Week

A Funky Monkey does Naughty Karate

Rebecca says some things about the new Karate Monkey OPS.

The Karate Monkey OPS is both new and old; the frame has seen very few changes since Surly first released the Karate Monkey many years ago (one of the first production 29ers on the market, if you can remember that time before there were things other than wheel sizes to talk about). Well, now Surly has changed a couple of things about the Monkey frame, and for the first time they're selling the stock model with Shimano Deore components and a suspension fork. Because she knew you'd have questions, and also because she really wanted to, Rebecca recently took the OPS model out for a ride. 

First, let's get the techy business out of the way. The Monkey OPS now has a 44mm headtube. Just think about how much more karate is possible with a 44mm headtube. Also, the rear dropouts are modular, allowing you to run a 12x142 thru-axle, horizontal, or standard dropouts. Shimano Deore mostly means: gears! On an out-of-the-box Karate Monkey! Doesn't that karate your mind to pieces?

Rebecca has been riding a full suspension carbon 29er for awhile now (Santa Cruz Tallboy), and she hasn't ridden a hardtail since she was just getting into (i.e. "hating") mountain biking. Thus, she was as skeptical about the Monkey as she was excited. Climbing is her nemesis (much as Batman's nemesis is throat cancer), and lugging a steel bike up a hill just didn't sound like fun to her. However, at the top of Evergreen Mountain, she said, "I've been smiling all the way up this climb."

Climbsmile: a heretofore unseen sight.

If you've ridden with her, you know how weird this is. At the top of most climbs, if she says anything at all, it's usually more like this.

The next thing she said was, "This bike is my mistress." You can thank me for not publishing photos of the PDA that followed. Instead, here are photos that show how nice that sparkly orange "Spray Tan" color looks in the sun.

Orange is the new fast.

On short, technical climbs, Rebecca surprised herself by cleaning things she's never cleaned before. As you know, hardtails are known to climb well. Rebecca found the difference to be dramatic.

At one point during the ride, during one of the rare moments when I was able to catch up to her, she said the Monkey was putting her in a different state of mind. "I can feel the ground underneath me, and I'm paying more attention to the trail. Full suspension lets you kind of zone out."

When it came time to descend, she sent me off first, thinking she'd need a few minutes to get comfortable shredding on a hardtail. I stopped to take a picture and then didn't see her again until I got to the parking lot. Part of that has to do with my own style of descending on a hardtail, which often goes a lot like this, but much if it had to do with Rebecca riding that Monkey as if they were giving free pie away at the trailhead.

As we loaded the car, I asked how she'd liked the descent. "I wasn't going any slower," she said, "but everything was a lot blurrier."

Here, speaking of blurry, is the picture I stopped to take.

Some folks may be unimpressed by the Deore components. When I asked Rebecca what she thought about them, she said, "Oh, what? I wasn't even thinking about them." That's pretty much exactly what you want out of your components--to remain invisible during your ride. The way that Shimano's technology keeps trickling down to lower and lower component tiers has made for some extremely solid Deore parts. The rear derailleur has a clutch and the brakes feel better than my two year-old SLX brakes (which, despite being a tier below the XT "standard," are still performing flawlessly now into their third season).

If you have any questions about this bike, feel free to ask Rebecca, but just to warn you she's going to get excited and you won't be able to interpret much of what she says. Her answer will involve a lot of sound effects and as she stands there talking she will become increasingly out of focus. 

Video of the Week

How to Paint Your Ugly Storefront

Let's say you have an ugly storefront. It's not your fault that it's ugly, but there's no denying that it's repulsive and that you need to do something about it. The first thing you need to do is to buy some paint and primer at your local paint store. It will cost you about $70, but it will be worth it to have a storefront that presents a unified appearance that passersby may find pleasing to the eye. This kind of chore isn't anything you're looking forward to, but it's the kind of thing you're going to do because it's responsible.

Next you will need to find some appropriate paint clothes. You may fancy yourself to be the kind of painter who never spills a drop, but paint clothes are a good idea nonetheless. You know that the more you like the shirt you're wearing, the larger the splotch you're sure to ruin it with. Dress appropriately and save yourself the heartbreak. You dress appropriately because you are, unarguably, responsible. Here's a model in traditional painter's wear.

Once you're dressed and ready to go, make sure you have the following supplies: paint brush, paint roller and tray, drop cloth, ladder, stir stick, can opener, rags, and a hammer. Line them up neatly in a row to make sure you remembered everything. Did you remember sunscreen? It's what responsible people wear.

You'll want to start with a primer that will cover old stains and give the paint a more lustrous, even appearance. Make sure your primer is correctly formulated to match your topcoat. You may want special UV-resistant primer if you're painting surfaces that catch a lot of sun. Apply several thin coats for best results. Breaking an ankle or a neck by falling off a ladder is something irresponsible people do, so if you're painting in hard-to-reach places, get plenty of help. 

Okay, great job! Your primer coat is applied! Stand back and admire your handiwork.

Much better! Now, you're going to let that dry for at least twenty-four hours, and while that happens, make sure to clean up your mess. If you plan to use the same paint tray and roller for the paint, clean everything thoroughly to avoid having dried chips of primer contaminate your paint. Professional painters call these chips "boogers."

Alright, now that you've let your primer dry for 24 hours, you are ready to apply your first coat of exterior paint. Remember to lay it on and smooth it off. While you're rolling vertically, it's okay to leave roller marks. After you've coated an area with vertical strokes, go back over the same area making horizontal strokes without loading the roller with paint. This will make for a very smooth, even coat. Lots and lots of repetition. Think: smooth, smooth, smooth.

Again, scrub every last bit of paint from your tray and roller, and save your roller sleeve in an airtight container overnight, and then apply the final coat of paint. Go slow and be careful. Yes, there are other things you'd rather be doing, but sometimes it's best to buckle down and do your chores. That's the only way you can get amazing results like a paint job you can really brag about:

Well, actually, it looks like you haven't painted anything but instead wasted a lot of valuable time riding your bike around. This is no good. No good at all. When you die, people will think of you and only remember your ugly storefront. I hope you're happy. 

Well, you're really in deep trouble, and we'd really like to stick around to see that you face the consequences, but see, there's this group ride starting here in about thirty minutes, and we really have to get going, so you just sit right there and think on what you've done. Unless you want to come with us. You should. Come with us.